For I can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me strength I need.
The last several years of my life have been what you might call “busy”. With two young sons, a busy career and a husband that travels for work I felt I was keeping just about as many balls in the air as I could handle. Then my mother, who had moved here from Tennessee to help with the boys, was diagnosed with cancer. I felt the precarious balance I had been maintaining begin slipping out of my control. The more I tried to coordinate my life, the less organized I felt. There were days when I felt so overwhelmed that previously pleasurable activities felt like a burden. I felt that, in trying to get everything done, I was doing nothing well. The solution seemed to be to cut back activities. Logically, pleasurable activities would need to be axed in order to get the necessities done. One of my pleasures that would have to go was teaching Sunday school. I was sad but overwhelmed and saw no other recourse.
A very wise church leader listened to me explain why I just could not possibly commit to teaching. In her usual calm, Zen like way she reminded me to BREATHE. That I don’t have to do everything perfectly. I didn’t have to be there every Sunday. That I could give what I could and that was good enough. That to a 4 year old a smile and a hug is sometimes enough and, don’t I have plenty of those?
So, my epiphany, my “a-ha” moment that what I have to offer is enough has helped – A LOT. I still feel overwhelmed at times but, I don’t have to be perfect. If I bring what I have to the table, open to give what I have and receive what God has to offer, things will work out.
My house is a little (ok, a lot) messy. My car needs to be washed. My desk is just…scary but, I’m doing the things I enjoy, teaching Sunday school, enjoying my children and breathing.
Prayer: God, show me when enough really is enough and fill me with your peace. Amen.